Sunday, January 18

F~R~I~E~N~D~S..


Its amazing how, sometimes, mere presence, of a friend, confers strength to the heart and soul.
-The heart always seems to play mind games.. almost always...


The heart goes on,
Life goes on,
Things come and go,
People come and go...

Sometimes the day is good,
Sometimes utterly bad..
But it’s really about the people,
Those few people
The heart doesnt let go..
....this obstinate heart...

These people,
They just seem to be there - sometimes not,
And just there presence,
Encourages a lot..

----


" Life is short,
Life is momentous..
Who knows I might kill someone,
Or be killed tomorrow...?

Just don’t leave me wondering,
If you were with me,
Or not.
Wondering, if u really cared..
...if you were real or not.

I live from you,
You are one of the embossed lines,
On my life's card..
A part; a piece of my life..

So SHOW me you are there,
Let me not choke myself,
With thoughts that you aren’t real,
-Show me you are there - my friends... "

----

I ask them for this lil favor,
For, when they disappear,
These tears,
Audacious tears,
They flow..

In their absence, they flow.....


Thursday, January 8

Do i love, or is it lusty amour?


Do i love or is it lusty amour?
Is this feeling just intimacy or something more?
The visions in front of my eyes are vulgar, full of gore...
Drunken eyes and melting nights galore...
And all THIS wasnt there before!

My heart used to BREATHE in days of yore
It could feel love, compassion, care and a lot more..
The heart, dat 'loved u to the core'
The paper heart, myriad pieces of which YOU tore!

And now things have turned sour
With the killing bite of feelings impure
I can sense I cant love anymore
Alas! i can't love anymore...

As i stand alone at life's shore
Trying meekly to hear its distant roar,
I take refuge in all that I used to abhor
Merely to enjoy my living hour..
To give my life-long-hour a pleasurable decor
Unknowingly making it forever dull n dour

But deep inside, true happiness I wish for ..
Wish for the smile that has gone afar..
I want the devil to walk out of my door
And let me reach my destination before my feet go sore

And now before you begin to snore
You-who has been reading these lines with anticiaption in store
Let me bring you back to the fore
And make your unabashed smile soar...
To write all this, I just let my imagination soar
And to tell you the truth, all I wanted was a person to bore!!!!!!!!!

Take care n spread smiles galore!!! :)
cares n prayers,ritu!!



Saturday, January 3

The girl...


She used to see me off
Everyday to school
Every morning she would walk down with me
Talking about a myriad of things

I met her first
On the pavement of the road
She was quenching her thirst
Towards her, I began to trod

We looked at each other
Her shabby clothes betrayed her poverty
But she didn't seem to bother
And she did look rather dainty. . .

She must've seen something in me
For I too saw a bubbly friend in her
And that's how we became friends
Every thought, every idea we began to share

She would ask me about my family, my mother
Then kick start her monologue
About her many lil 'adventures'
Ending, 'ooh! you should have seen me do it!'

One day i told her off hand
That my mother was a lil ill
She immeditely clutched her wrist band
And stood stock still

I had no time to wonder
For the gatekeeper was calling upon me
Just as she seemed to shudder
I hastily waved a feeble goodbye. . .

The next curious, windy day
I found her sobbing self on the pavement
It was then that i realized and began to sway
For without a mother, her life she used to spend

Mother nature! What game do you play with your children
On one hand you bestow all riches
And on the very other, unending miseries and glitches . . ?


Death...

I used to think of death
As someone so far,
Whom i yearn to meet with
Almost every day, every hour

Death! an anodyne for suffering
The means to get peace
The key to defeat all
The puzzle's final piece!

----

But that night
When the earth shook
The howling darkness instilled fright
And i realized a hidden truth


I sleep in deep slumber
Every night, even days
A sleep that binds me
All my fears it quietly allays


But, that night, I faced a terrible reality
The reality of physical pain
I had been hurt lot in my life, i used to think
But now that thought is slain

I never knew i would be scared
Of death, when it is beckoning me
I never knew i also loved
So much.... it felt beyond me. . .


This uneneding love
That enscorcelles my heart with strings...
Its what I live on, live off
Oh! I can never leave it behind.. no matter how much pain it brings

----


And so yet again, I sleep
Eyes closed, deep in slumber
While Satan wakes, My Death looks at me
Smiles
And takes me away, while im deep asleep



A lil Background to this post:

This was written after this pretty strong earthquake, that jolted our city one night. I generlly dont remember dates and events.. but that night is etched in my memory like an engraving. It took me quite some time to come out of shock. A shock that made me unable to move at the time when this earthquake had struck....




Thursday, January 1

Blind Man..


I was walking down a neverending street
Could feel the wind against my face
I was feeling a little insecure a lil scared
For what if i crashed into something lying on my path..
Nevertheless, the wind was egging me on
My stick giving me confidence
The stick of which i had grown so used to..
The good old stick.. i wondered how it looked, this precious posession of mine
It felt like my love .. it felt so alive in my hands:)

I was still walking when a whiff of perfume passed me by
I let my nostrils flare, to catch the fragrance
For with the fragrance there seemed to be an emotion so strong
That (i realized) i was frowning in thought
.. It was something in the way the fragrance walked past me..
Oh if only i could explain to u what i 'saw'..

Its been a while now, that iv moved around like a dog..
Smelling to find my way
But it doesnt work always, doesnt work for places far way
From places i usually have to travel to, everyday
:)... God bless the dogs..

Quickly, i stopped thinking about the quaint fragrance
And hurried towards the bus stop
The bus driver that cums just after i hear the shutter behind me, go up, knows me well
I feel comfortable in that bus, with that rough voiced, but friendly bus driver
And that high pitched voice of the rather short bus conductor
I did'nt want to miss that bus..

Ah! in comfort on the front seat i was, my stick stretched ahead of me
I felt a few hands on my shoulder now and then
Some carefully trying to avoid inadvertently hitting someone, in that bumpy ride
And some hardly bothering

Suddenly i heard a voice from my right
From where the driver should have been
It sounded .. a lil unfriendly .. and seemed to be looking at me but talking to someone else
Then i heard dragging footsteps stop and shift a lil, in front of me
I was being addressed now, and a chill went down my spine..
"kahaan jaana hai? kisiko saath nahi laye ho?"
Where do u want to go? Isnt anybody with you?
-I had taken the wrong bus
I always depended on myself, and my observations to take the right bus
And i dint expect to fail
I looked up, judging the gait of my intimidator
I got up and hit the side of the window pane with my stick
And my stick told me, this want my bus at all.

It was then that i began to feel excessively scared, insecure
It was then that i opened my eyes
I was blind, for what seemed to be ages.. years!
I had'nt seen how the other half of the world was living
I was in MY bus all this while .. never bothered to step elsewhere
And look out of the window from there....

Today,
I saw a blind man waiting at d bus stop
Saw a lonely old man crossing the road
Saw a rickshawpuller struggle his way past the traffic
.... and saw myself walking blindly on my every day routine
My world, confined to my music
My work
My love
My desires
My ...

I am blind man.. Scared of the world across my boundaries...
Just that, here, i am blind out of choice...



A lil peeking is important for understanding....:)


To be or not to be is the question my friend. And what decides the end, is the way we LOOK at things now... thats not philosophy only.... its science....

Take a peek..

http://www.blindspottest.com/



The words here may not be yours, but what you 'see' here will always be your idea.